Ain't Too Proud To Beg

Ain't Too Proud To Beg

by Liz Kirkhus - cover_girl83@hotmail.com

I felt like such an idiot when I came out of the meeting room. The interview felt as if it had gone straight to a certain place. I had been so nervous; not such a wonder maybe as it was my first real job interview and it wasn't even home. It was in another country, and according to the job description I was going to travel around the world, which I really didn't mind at all. I love travelling, and this job was offering me what I've always wanted; a chance to travel the world on someone else's account, and a chance to do another thing that is a passion of mine - be a photographer. But it seemed like a bit of a long shot for me now, especially after that interview. I'd been really nervous, and words had just slipped my mind. I'm from Norway, but my English is as fluent as any Brit's, but not this hour and a half. I dropped my pictures when I was about to give them to the interviewer, but I tried to play it cool and act as if I'd been doing interviews like this my whole life and this was just an accident that could happen to anyone. I'm not sure they bought it though. They had told me to sit down and wait for the verdict so to speak, so I did.
After two long hours and three cups of coffee they called me back in again. "I'm sorry, Miss Kirkhus, but the position has been filled." I was sure they would say something like that, so I sat down and smiled feeling relaxed for the first time that day. To be honest I'd circled a few job ads in the paper while I was waiting. "Well, Miss Kirkhus, you have quite a few very fine pictures and you've been a photographer once before haven't you?" the interviewer asked. "Yes, sir, I have." I had been a photographer in the local newspaper through my final year at high school, which would be 1 year ago in two months. It was May 9th, the clock on the wall showed 4pm, the interviewer looked at me and I couldn't help but think that I'd be celebrating my 19th birthday in England in just two months if I got the job. "You are a clearly talented young girl, and just being the youngest here gives you a good advantage." the man said, and I smiled and thanked him even though I wasn't sure about what he was saying. I had however, seen quite a few of the other applicants; all aged around 35 - 40 with serious looks on their faces and serious pictures in their suitcases. Mine weren't as serious, and I was the youngest one there with my 18 years and 10 months. "You are hired, Miss Kirkhus. You will meet your new co-workers tomorrow, who you will work closely with from now on." he said, standing up. I did the same, and shook his hand. "Thank you very much, sir." I smiled, and felt like jumping up on the desk and hug the man. "You're more than welcome. I will see you tomorrow then, and introduce you to your colleagues." "Wonderful!" "Very well, we'll see you here at 10am then." "Certainly, sir!" "Good afternoon, Miss Kirkhus." "Good afternoon, sir." I said, and as I turned to walk out I pulled funny faces and was about to burst. When I got safely out on the street I practically ran into the nearest store and bought a tub of ice cream before I hurried back to the flat I was renting.

"YESSS!!!" I screamed as I flung the door closed behind me. "Yesss! I got it!! Woohoo!!!" I sat down in the kitchen for a few seconds then I grabbed the phone and called mum. "I got the job!" "Yes, I know!" "I'll be meeting them tomorrow at 10." "Yup, I can't believe it!" "Sure I am." "I'll call you tomorrow and let you know how they were." "Okay, bye!" I laughed as I hung up and danced my way over to the stereo. I pushed play, and the music flowed out the speakers.
After dancing around like a maniac for nearly an hour, I fell exhausted onto the sofa and flicked through the channels. "Nothing. boring. yuck. boring. nope." I said. "Computer!" I grinned and turned it on. I logged into my web site, and under updates I wrote in big letters. "I got the job! Woohoo!!!"
It was close to midnight when I logged off after chatting a while with my friends, and I decided it was best if I just went to bed and tried to relax enough to at least get a few good hours of sleep before meeting my colleagues the next day.

At 10 o'clock the interviewer, Mr Williams, came out of the meeting room and met me. "Miss Kirkhus, you're on time. A very good quality!" he said and smiled. "Thank you, hopefully I can keep it up." I said, and he laughed. "Now, your colleagues are usually a very busy band but they are on a little break today." "A very busy band?" I said, and he nodded. "The position were as a photographer for a band, a fivesome to be exact. Do you have any objections to this?" Mr Williams asked. "Oh no, not at all!" I smiled, hoping that it wasn't Five. "Shall we go in then?" he asked, and I nodded. He led the way into the meeting room where I had been the day before, but now it was arranged a bit differently. Back to how it usually looked I imagined. "Lads, this is your new photographer; Liz Kirkhus." Mr Williams said, making the five lads sat around the table look up at me. I nearly choked when I looked at them. "I'm sure you already know these, don't you?" Mr Williams smiled at me. "Yes, I am familiar with their work. Bit of a fan, to be honest." I said. "Cool! Hi, Liz. Nice to meet you." Nicky said, as we shook hands. "Nice meeting you too." I smiled as I shook the others hands as well. "Hi Liz, I'm Anto Byrne. Tour manager." Anto said as we shook hands. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr Byrne." "Anto." he corrected and I smiled. "Anto." I said, and he nodded. "There you have it!" he grinned and I laughed, feeling at ease with them all at once. Anto told me a bit about life on tour, and what my assignment would be. "Basically you'll just walk around with your camera all day long, and snap pictures of these five here. And of course you will be part of the photo sessions that they have now and then, and we'll use the pictures for tour books, fan clubs, galleries on CD rom's and websites, videos and so on. Do you have any experience with video cameras?" Anto asked, and I nodded. "Yes, I have one. well, at home. But I know how to operate them, and I think it's fun, yeah." I said. "Great, we'll provide you with one of those small, handy ones and you can film them too. Around the tourbus, backstage on concerts and performances, and so on. Then we can use that in tour videos and home videos, stuff like that." I nodded. "Sounds very good." I said. "Great! Where is home for you, by the way?" Anto looked at me, and so did the lads. "England, Anto!" Kian said. "Can't you hear that on her accent?" he laughed. "Home is in Norway." I said, and Kian looked at me. "Norway?" Shane asked, and I nodded. "Yeah, just outside Oslo." "Wow. you don't sound it." Nicky agreed. "Thanks." I smiled. "Are one of your parents from Britain, or have you lived here for long?" Anto asked. "Nope, I come from an all Norwegian family. And I've only lived here for nearly 5 months." I said. "I've just always talked like this, I can't explain it better." I said, and they nodded. "Oh, okay!" Bryan said and grinned. "When is she starting?" Shane looked at Anto then at me. "We'll get her settled today, and she'll start tomorrow. Sound ok?" he asked, and I nodded. "Sounds like a plan to me!" I smiled.

I started the following day, and everything worked fine. I got to know the lads very well, and all of us became good friends. "Hi Anto." "Ok, cool!" "Sure, I'll go tell them now." "Okay." I hung up, and went out of my hotel room to let the lads know that they had the afternoon and evening off the following day. I went across the hall and knocked on the door. "Hiya Liz!" Kian grinned as I opened. "Hiya. Listen, Anto just called." "Oh man, we just got back! What now?" he asked. "Cheer up, Ki. You've got the afternoon and evening off tomorrow. The photo shoot has been cancelled." I said and he smiled. "Yay! Cool!" he cheered. "Tell Bryan?" I asked, and he nodded. "Sure, will do." "Thanks Kian." I said and headed down to the next room. "Hi." Mark said as he opened. "Hi. Got good news for you; the photo shoot tomorrow has been cancelled, so you'll have the afternoon and evening off." I said, and he smiled. "We do? Cool! Thanks!" he said, and I nodded. "My pleasure." I said, and proceeded to Nicky and Shane's room. They too seemed very happy to get the news, and Nicky raced out past me down to Bryan and Kian's room. "We're going clubbing lads!" he shouted, and they cheered. "Good luck Shane!" Nicky grinned as he left with Bryan, Kian and Mark. "Good luck?" I looked at him, and he nodded. "Yeah." he said, and blushed slightly. "What do you need that for?" I asked. "This: Liz, do you want to have dinner with me tonight?" he asked, and looked into my eyes. I knew it would maybe be bad to mix business with pleasure, but I couldn't resist his eyes so I nodded and accepted. "I'd love to, Shane." I said, ignoring the feeling that started waking in the back of my mind. "Cool! I'll come by and get you in about an hour?" he said. "Sure, I'll be ready." I smiled and headed back to my room, trying to put that pulsating feeling back to sleep.

Shane knocked on the door just as I stepped out of the bathroom, and I opened. "Hi." I smiled. "Hi. you look really nice." he said smiling, and I felt my cheeks blush. "Oh, thank you." I said. "Are you ready to go then?" he asked, and I nodded. Shane smiled and took my arm as we walked to the lifts.
After dinner we strolled back to the hotel. I'd had a nice evening, and the feeling in the back of my mind had been quiet all night. "I'm glad you said yes." Shane said, and smiled at me. "Me too, I've had a very good time." I said as he stopped before me, and put his hands on my shoulders. I looked at him, and that feeling awoke in my head. Shane smiled and moved closer to me, and before I knew what was happening we were kissing in full view of any who walked by. The feeling in my head was awake now, and I somehow knew that it wouldn't be put back to sleep again. "Erm. wow, Shane. I." I stuttered as he pulled back. He smiled. "I've liked you ever since you started working for us, three months ago." he said, and I looked at him with big eyes. No one had ever said things like that to me, and I was stunned that Shane said them. "I like you too, Shane." I said, and that was the truth. I did like him, I liked all the lads, I liked Anto, I loved working with them, I liked them all as friends. Except for one of them - Mark. I had always liked him best, and now that I had got to know him better I liked him even more. I knew he'd never say what Shane told me, so I pushed him far back in my mind. "You do?" Shane asked, and let his hands slide down my arms and took my hands. "Yes." I said quietly. He smiled and kissed me again.

I turned halfway to the door when someone knocked, but kept my eyes on the pictures laid out on my bed. "Come in!" I shouted. There was silence, then the knock came again. "It's open, come on in!" I shouted again, but there was no movement. Then the knock again. "All right already! I'm coming!" I shouted, and walked over to the door. Shane stood outside and grinned at me. "Didn't you hear me shouting?" I asked, but he just kept grinning. "Sure, I just wanted you to open." he said, and I laughed as I shook my head. "Why is that, then?" I asked, and he moved closer and kissed me passionately. "Because I wanted to do that." he said. "You couldn't have come in and done that?" I looked at him, and he smirked. "Sure, but I wanted to do it here too." Shane said and winked. I laughed and walked back in. "What you doing?" he asked as he put his arms around my waist. "I'm looking at pictures of you lot." I answered. "Oh really? Any good ones of me?" Shane said and smiled as he let me go and went over to my bed. "Yeah, a few." I smiled as I sat down opposite him and picked up one. "Like this one." I handed it over to him, and he laughed. "Very nice!" he laughed. "What did you want, Shane?" I asked as he had gathered up all the pictures and sat flicking through them. "What?" he looked up. "What did you want when you came over?" I asked again. He smiled and put the pictures on my nightstand. "Nothing, I just wanted to spend some time with my girlfriend." he said, and pulled me across the bed over to him. "Awww. that was sweet." I smiled and kissed him. We had been together for nearly a month, but still that feeling in my mind hadn't gone back to sleep. "I love you, Liz." Shane whispered as he held me, and I smiled. I loved lying in his arms like this. "I love you too, Shane." I said, because I did. I did love him, and he made me happy. Happier than I had ever been before in my life. But that feeling in my mind worried me. I hadn't told Shane about it, and I doubted that I would. It was like a warning, but I had no clue what it was trying to warn me about. I would find out though, and soon too.

"Okay, gang! Next stop Dublin!" Anto called from the bus' front seat. "Woohoo!!" the lads cheered, and I grinned as I filmed them. "Happy about being home?" I asked, and Shane nodded enthusiastically. "Yup!" he said. I kept filming them for a while, then I turned the camera off and placed it in my bag. The lads were finishing off their second tour with 12 nights at The Point Depot in Dublin. They had done 11 last time, and thought it would be fun to do 12 this time. "Right people, we're here! Go check in and we meet in meeting room 3 in two hours." Anto said as we started gathering up our stuff. "Yes, sir!" Kian grinned as he saluted. "Knock it off Egan, just get your arse out of here!" Anto laughed as Kian jumped out of the bus and set off into the hotel. I went over to the reception desk. "Good afternoon, miss. May I take your name?" the girl behind the counter asked. "Good afternoon. Liz Kirkhus." I said and smiled at her. "Yes, you'll be in room 522, miss. Enjoy your stay!" she said as she handed me the key. "Thank you, I'm sure I will." I said and headed to the lifts. "Wait up, babe!" Shane said as he hurried over and jumped in just before the doors closed. I smiled. "Which room are you in?" I asked. "520. You?" he asked. "522." I said. "Cool, we'll be neighbours then!" Shane winked and I laughed. "Yes, we will." I said. Nicky came up the stairs just as we got out of the lift. "Hello. Had a nice trip up?" he asked and winked. "You have a twisted mind, Byrne!" I laughed as we set off down the hall. Bryan, Kian and Mark were already there. "Two hours in meeting room 3, right?" Kian said. "That's what the man said!" Bryan nodded. "That gives us a little over an hour and a half to relax." Nicky smiled as he unlocked his door. He was sharing with both Bryan and Kian, and we heard them play fighting over who would get which bed. I shook my head laughing and turned to open the door to my room. Mark stood inside and looked at me as I came in. "Erm." he said, and I looked at him. "Which room did they give you?" I asked. "This, 522. You?" he said. "Same." I answered. "That means that Shane's alone. They must have mixed up Feehily and Filan." I said and he nodded. "I can trade with Shane if you want." Mark said, but I shook my head. "You don't have to do that, we can manage can't we?" I said, and he smiled. "Sure." he said. "Good. Problem solved!" I smiled and he laughed. "Fast and painless!" We threw our bags onto the beds, and I rummaged around until I found my make up bag. "I'll just go freshen up." I said, and Mark nodded. "Ok." he smiled as I went into the bathroom.

After a few messages and other stuff from Anto we went to dinner all of us. "Liz, can I talk to you?" Mark asked as we went back up to our rooms after dinner. "Yeah, sure. What's up?" I asked as I sat down on my bed. "I love you." he said as he stood in front of me. "Pardon?" I asked stunned. "I love you." I was speechless and the feeling in my mind was stronger now than ever before, this had been what it tried to warn me about. "Mark. I." I said, and he looked at me. "I know you're with Shane, but I still love you. I have from the first moment." he said. I was shocked to say the least. "God." I said as tears started falling from my eyes. "Liz." Mark said softly and tried to put his arms around me. "I can't." I said before I ran out. Shane was stood talking to the others as I ran crying past them. "Liz!" he shouted and set off after me, the three others following suit. I pushed the button for the lift, but it moved too slowly. I turned and hurried to the stairs, but Shane ran faster than me and caught up with me as I was about to run down. He took hold of my arm, and looked at me. "Liz, what's wrong?" he asked. "I. Mark." I sobbed and sank to the floor in tears. "Mark what?" he asked. "He. I." I cried. Shane lifted me up and carried me back to his room. "What's wrong? Is she sick?" Bryan asked. "I don't know. She said something about Mark." Shane said as he carried me into his room and placed me on his bed. "I'm gonna go talk to him. We'll be fine." he said to the other lads. "Ok, we'll see you tomorrow then." Nicky said as he, Kian and Bryan went back to their room. "Shane, no!" I said but he didn't hear me. He walked out, and knocked on Mark's door. I lay there pulling myself together before I stood up and decided to go back. I was just about to knock when I heard them in there, and I froze with my hand an inch from the door. "What did you say to her? She's in my room crying now!" Shane shouted. "I love her!" Mark shouted back, and there was a silence in the room. "What?" "I said I love her." Another short silence. "I don't believe you, Mark!" Shane said, but I didn't want to hear the rest. I hurried to the stairs and ran down them and outside into the calm night as tears ran from my eyes.

Back at the hotel Shane walked back into his room only to find it empty. "Liz?" he asked. "Liz, are you here?" he said as he quickly searched the room. Then he stormed out and bashed on Mark's door. "She's gone!" he shouted as he opened. "Liz is gone, and I blame you!" Shane shouted in his face. "Me?! You left her!" Mark shouted back. Bryan poked his head out the door, and Kian and Nicky walked out and stood watching two of their best friends arguing. "I left her because I wanted to find out what you had done to make her run out crying!" Shane looked at him. "I haven't done anything to her! I would never hurt her! I love her!" Mark shouted, tears rising in his eyes. Kian looked at Bryan and Nicky who looked just as surprised as he did. "Did I hear that right?" he said, and they nodded. "Appears so." Nicky said, and turned back to see Shane standing on his tiptoes shouting angrily in Mark's face. "We have to stop this!" Bryan said as he hurried over to them, and pulled Shane away from Mark whilst Nicky held Mark back. Kian stepped in between them and looked from Mark to Shane. "What the hell is up with you two? You'll wake the entire hotel, and Anto will be less than pleased!" he said. "Liz is gone, and it's Mark's fault!" Shane said, his eyes were furious and tears were shining in them. "I would never harm her! I love her!" Mark retorted, tears shining in his eyes too. "So stop standing here and shouting at each other, and find her!" Bryan said. "Yeah, you look like idiots!" Nicky said. "If you both love her, then you should be out looking for her. It doesn't look as if either of you love her to me." Kian said. "You butt out of this, Egan! You don't know the first thing about how I feel!" Shane nearly hissed. "Then show me, Shane. Show me how you feel, and show Liz by going out and look for her!" Kian said, holding Shane's gaze. "Let me go, Bryan!" Shane said, and Bryan did as he asked. "She better be alright!" Shane said, staring at Mark. "She will be if I find her first!" Mark said. Neither of them would be bothered to wait for the lift, they ran down the stairs and outside to find her. "Well, I know I can't sleep until they're back." Bryan said. "Join me for a drink in the bar?" Kian and Nicky nodded. "Yeah, good idea." Kian said as they stepped into the lift and headed for the hotel bar.

I ran out of the hotel and down the street. After a while I didn't have a clue where I was, I was lost but I didn't really care. I found a green area and sat down under a tree. Why had Mark said that? I liked him, but I loved Shane. Yeah, I had fancied Mark in the beginning but as Shane and I grew closer I realised that I loved him. But I really didn't need Mark telling me he loved me, this was all too much for me. Shane was the first boyfriend I'd ever had, and I didn't want to lose him. I pulled my knees up and rested my head on them as I started crying again; I was lost, both literally and emotionally. The night grew darker and colder as I sat there, but I had no idea what time it was. I'd left my watch back at the hotel, and I didn't have any money to get back either. I was freezing, but still I didn't move. "Liz?" Shane's voice said. I looked up and saw him crouching in front of me. "Oh thank God!" he said as he wrapped his arms around me. "I was so worried about you, sweetie. I've been looking for you for hours!" he said. I smiled a bit, so happy to be in his arms again. "Shane." I said, my lips were blue from the cold. "I was lost, I don't know where I am. I just ran." I said, my voice catching in my throat. "Don't worry. I'm here now, I'll get you back." Shane said and helped me up. "You're freezing, sweetie. Your lips are blue." he looked at me, then stopped and took his jacket off and put it around me. "Here, take this." he said, and I smiled at him as he zipped it up for me. "Thank you." I said, and he smiled. "Anytime, sweetheart." Shane said and put his arms around me again and hugged me tight. "I was so worried about you, Liz. Don't do this again." I shook my head as new tears made their way down my face. "I won't." I whispered. "Come on, let's get you back." he said and put his arm around me as he waved for a taxi. We got in and I leaned my head on his shoulder, my teeth chattering and my lips quivering from the cold. Shane sat holding me all the way. "Liz, are you all right?" Kian asked when we came back, and they walked towards us from the bar. "Yeah." I said. "Where's Mark?" Bryan asked. "I don't know." Shane answered. "I guess you should call him, and tell him that I've found her." he added. Bryan pulled out his mobile, but Nicky nudged his side. "No need." he said, nodding to the front door. Mark hurried over to us. "Are you all right?" he asked, looking at me. I nodded slowly. "Thank God." he said, glancing quickly at Shane. "Come on, let's go to bed. It's 2.30 in the morning. Anto is gonna have a fit if we're late." Nicky said, and we nodded.
"Liz.?" Shane said as we were well inside his room. "Yes?" I looked at him. "Can you answer me this one thing?" I nodded. "Who do you love? Me or Mark?" Shane said seriously. I sighed and looked at him. "I love you, Shane." I said, but he didn't seem quite convinced or satisfied. "If I hadn't felt the way I do about you, and Mark had told you he loved you, would you be with him then?" He stood up and sat down in front of me on the bed. I crossed my legs, and looked into his eyes. "I don't know. If I had loved him back, maybe yes. But I don't, I love you." I said. "But." he started. "Shane!" I said, waving my hands to make him stop. "I thought you were worried about me." He nodded. "I was, very worried." he said. "Were you worried because you love me, or were you worried as a friend?" I asked, and he seemed a bit surprised to be getting this question. "I was worried because I love you, of course." he said, now it was my turn to look unconvinced by his answer. "Me and Mark were arguing before and after you left, especially after." Shane said. "The others had to pull us apart, and Kian said that it didn't seem to him like any of us loved you. But I told him that he didn't know the first thing about how I felt for you. You mean the world to me, Liz. I love you so much, and I want to spend every moment of my life with you. I can't see my life without you in it. I'm not even sure if I can actually explain with words how I feel for you, but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and soul. And that I live for each touch, each kiss, each second we're together. I'll never stop loving you, honey." Shane looked at me, and I was lost for words. Every word and letter I knew had just slipped from my mind, and all I could do was just sit there and look at him. He looked back into my eyes, before the words came back to me. "Shane. I. I don't know what to say. Except ditto!" I said, and he laughed. "I mean. wow. I love you too, so much. All those things you just said." I said, and didn't know exactly how to continue. "Would you love Mark like that?" he asked. "No, I wouldn't. I don't. I only love you like that, and I can only love you." I said, and he smiled at me. I sat up on my knees and hugged him. "I only love you like that." I whispered, and he tightened his arms around me. "I love you honey, and I'll never leave you. I promise." Shane whispered and pulled back a little. "I love you." he said and kissed me.

The concerts were going fine, and Mark and Shane had made up at least a little and they were talking to one another. That feeling in my mind had almost vanished, but the day before the lads' last concert it flared up again. Mark had been a bit down after he had got a phone call from his parents saying that his youngest brother was in hospital, so I talked to him and tried to cheer him up. We had changed rooms now, so I walked over to his room one night to hear if there had been any news about Colin. "Any news?" I asked as we sat down. "Yeah, mum called a few hours ago and told me he's fine! He had broken his arm, but now he's home again." Mark smiled. "That's great!" I smiled and hugged him. Just as I did the door opened, and Shane looked in. "Oh." he said when he saw us. "Shane, wait!" I stood up. "No, sorry to disturb you!" he said, and slammed the door shut. "Shit!" I said and hid my face in my hands. "Go talk to him, Liz. He'll understand." Mark said, and I nodded. "Ok." I said as I went out and back into our room again. Shane was stood with his back to me, looking out the window. "Shane." I said. "You two looked like you were having a nice time!" he said coldly without turning. "I was just happy for him, Colin's out of hospital with a broken arm." I said. "That's nice." Shane said. "I thought we had cleared all this." I said, on the verge of crying. "Yeah, so did I." he snapped. "Then why are you acting like this? Mark and I are just friends!" I said. "Does he know that?" Shane's back was still turned to me so I couldn't see his face, where tears were falling. "Yes, he does. I've explained it all to him, and he understands. He knows how much I love you, and he's sorry for all that mess those days ago. You know that Shane, you've made up." I couldn't help it any longer, tears started forming in my eyes and running down my cheeks as I spoke. He didn't answer. "I'm going out." he said shortly. "Shane, please don't do this." I begged. "If this is how it's going to be every time I hug Mark, or any other guy I might as well leave now." I said, and he stopped by the door. I knew he was considering this very hard and fast. "If you leave now, I won't be coming back after your break, Shane. I'll leave forever, and never come back again. Please, don't do this to me. If you walk out now, I'm on the first flight to London the day after tomorrow. And I won't be back. Do you understand me, Shane? I won't be back ever." I said, my voice stifled with sobs. "I need to think." he said and hurried out the door. I fell back onto the bed and cried. After a while there was a knock at the door. "Come in." I called, but didn't move. "Where is he?" Mark asked. "He left." I said. "He left?" "Yeah, he said he needed to think. I've lost him, Mark." I sobbed, and he sat down and hugged me. "No, you haven't Liz. He's just being stupid." Mark said. "I told him that if that's how it would be every time I hugged you or any of the other lads, then I'd might as well leave. I think I should, I am leaving. I told him if he walked out I would be on the first flight back to London the day after tomorrow and I'll never come back again. He walked out. He doesn't want me. We're over." I said, and dried my eyes. "I don't deserve him." I said as I stood up. "Liz, sit down, shut up and listen to me!" Mark said, his voice was nearly angry when he spoke. "If there's anyone who doesn't deserve anybody, it's Shane. He's a fool for acting like this, and I'm gonna talk to him." he said. I just looked at him. "You guys have a weeks break after this last concert tomorrow. We leave the day after tomorrow in the morning, you're all going home and I'm going back to my flat. It may be best if I just leave, and don't come back. And Shane obviously wants it that way, so he will have it his way." I said. Mark shook his head as he stood up. "The only one you'll leave with is Shane." he said and smiled at me before walking out.

Shane cunningly managed to avoid me the next day, and I sat in the hotel bar staring into my Martini feeling so blue. I had been defeated and I would go back to London in the morning with just the sweet memories of Shane and me, and never look back again. The lads were out celebrating the success of their tour, or so I thought, and I wanted them to have fun. They deserved it; they had been working very hard and done so great. I sighed and heard there was someone talking to the bar staff behind me but I wouldn't be bothered to turn and see what it was about. I looked up and saw Bryan, Kian and Nicky smiling at me. I smiled back, wondering why they were back so soon. Nicky pointed to the bar counter behind me, and I raised my eyebrows as if to ask what he meant. Kian and Bryan motioned to me that I should turn so I did. Shane stood on the bar counter and looked at me. I looked back at the lads and now Mark had joined them too. They nodded and I turned back to Shane, who started singing.

"I know you wanna leave me
But I refuse to let you go
And If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy
I don't mind, 'cause you mean that much to me

Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go

Well I heard a quiet man is half a man
With no sense of pride
If I have to cry to keep ya I don't mind weepin'
If weepin' gonna keep ya by my side

Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go

If I have to sleep on your doorstep all night and day
Just to keep you from walkin' away
Let my friends laugh, for this I can stand
'Cause I wanna keep ya, yeah, yeah, I can

Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go

I got a love so deep in the pit of my heart
Every day it grows more and more
I'm not ashamed to come and plead with you, baby
If pleadin' keeps you from walkin' out the door

Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go

Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go"

As he sang I stood up and walked over to the counter, and he smiled and fell to his knees before me. I just stood there and looked at him as he finished the song. "I ain't too proud to beg, Liz. Please forgive me, I love you so much." he said, and everyone in the bar heard him as they had all fallen silent. I lifted my hand over my eyes and smiled as I blushed. "Yes." I said, and he grinned. I looked up at him and saw he was kneeling on the bar counter, then he reached out and took my hand. "You know how I love you, and you know I can't live without you. Marry me!" I turned to look at the lads again, and they grinned and nodded. "Get down from there!" I whispered. "Not until you answer, I won't." he said. I closed my eyes, and felt that the warning feeling in my mind was gone. I wondered if I was doing the right thing, after all I was only 19. "We don't have to get married yet, we can wait a few years." Shane said as if he had read my mind. I looked at him and he smiled, I looked into his eyes and nodded. He held the microphone in front of my face and I closed my eyes again as I answered. "To hell with what everyone may think!" I thought to myself. "Yes, I will." I said and Shane jumped down and put his arms around me. "Please don't leave me, ever." he whispered, and I shook my head. "I won't, Shane." I whispered as he kissed me softly. Bryan, Mark, Nicky and Kian started cheering and applauding and soon got the entire bar going too. Shane laughed as he picked me up and carried me out. I smiled and hid my face against his neck.

=========================== 3 years later ============================

Shane stood by the window and turned when I came in. "Hello you." he smiled and swept me up in his arms. "Hello yourself." I said. "What do you think? Like the view?" he asked and turned me to the window. I looked out at the scenic landscape outside that was Sligo and nodded. "Love the view." I smiled. "Isn't it great to think that it's our view?" Shane asked as he rested his chin on my shoulder. "Yeah, it is." I said as I turned in his arms. "I love it here!" I said, and he grinned. "Me too, honey." he said as he kissed me.
Shane and I had got married that spring, not more than a few weeks ago, and we lived in our lovely house just outside Sligo.
Mark had been best man at our wedding, he and Shane had worked it out and it was all water under the bridge now. He came to the wedding with his girlfriend Marjorie, a lovely girl from the Netherlands whom he loves very much.
The lads are still doing great, and I have so much fun with them. I have been promoted from photographer to assistant tour manager, and I'm loving my job very much. I get to spend lots more time with Shane, not only when he's home for a few days between gigs and tours. He still tells me that singing to me that day in the bar was the smartest thing he has ever done, and that he's still not too proud to beg. Trust me, Shane is not too proud!
"Liz.?" "Yeah?" I looked up from the agenda I sat with. "Leave those papers, and let's go rent a movie and have a quiet night in." he said, and smiled at me. "Oh, I really should finish this." I said, and he sighed. "Oh, come on sweetie!" Shane smiled. "Shane, I really should get this." I started but he wouldn't let me finish. "Nah-ah!" he grinned and shook his head.
"Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go" he sang as he crawled on his knees over to me, and gave me his best puppy eyes. "Awww.! How can I resist?" I said and put my papers away.
"Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't work tonight, no, no, no
Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't work tonight, no, no, no" he sang again, with a little change in lyrics and I laughed as I fell to my knees. Shane put his arms around me and brushed hair from my eyes. "I love you." he said, and I smiled. "I love you too." I said as he kissed me softly.